Food

Recently a friend started a food blog. She talks about nutrition and actually takes photos of what she eats and posts them every day. She has gone on to lose 12 lbs in the last few months. When I first heard of this blog I thought wow how brave to photo everything she eats and post it, imagining 20 pictures of a binge eating weekend full of images of small groups of gummy bears adding up to a five lb bag. But my friend hasnt had any slips. She ate a chocolate truffle at a garden show and I think that is the only treat she has allowed. I struggle with my weight... actually physically I struggle. tying shoes can be a bitch. I am not a couch potato. I am active. I hike and I garden. I eat healthy foods,I love vegies and grow them year round. use 2 % milk in my coffee,(blecch) I regularly start my day with fat free plain yogurt and fresh berries. I dont eat fried foods or refined carbs, I dont eat candy (unless you count the box of sees I hid in the linen closet last week) My biggest problem is I dont like to be hungry and I dont want to deprive myself of food that tastes good. I want to be able to eat like a skinny person, believe me I have watched how those bitchs eat. " I dont have to worry about getting fat, I can eat whatever I want" meanwhile I am eating my fresh veggies fruits and whole grains, lean meats/fish and non or low fat dairy.....When we were in hawaii a few weeks ago,I was going to act like it was a SPA vacation.... I gained 4 pounds... I ate non fat plain yogurt with berries and banana for breakfast every day, had a salad for lunch every day and had grilled or raw fish for dinner with veggies every night. I avoided the macadamia nuts, coconut anything, bread in any form including the banana bread and i didnt have any desert. I guess I should have avoided the mai tais too. I believe I am healthy. My dr says I am not. I feel stronger and physically more capable now than I did in my 20s when I weighed what my dr would say is a healthy weight for someone of my height. I can climb hills without needing to stop to catch my breath like I used to when I was skinny. I have never let my weight stop me from living my life. I am not ashamed to wear a bathing suit in public. I know I feel better about myself than most skinny women who see endless flaws in themselves. but damn it,,,, i want a smaller number to show up on that scale.